I’ll be waiting and I will be patient. But for the meantime, I just want to let you know that when you extinguish the fire, don’t put it out because of my exams. Don’t try to protect me by dragging things longer, because I will end up having more memories with and of you.. And that will hurt me more. I will cry, I will be cut up and I will be hurt.
But I will stand up again because as Keri says “Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down, just get back up, when it knocks you down”… Do you see why I'm always turning up the volume when I’m in your car when this song comes up on the radio, do you see why I am always horribly screaming along with the lyrics, do you see why this is my favourite song since the day I started seeing you?... Not because, it has a good beat to it or that it is by Kanye West or Keri Hilson. But because I was always prepared to get hurt, I was prepared to dig a grave for myself. So why can’t you sacrifice your pride and give me the love that you could have given me… like how you used to before you got hurt. I’m already in the process of getting hurt. Why can’t you just be brave too?
I don’t understand why I can’t say all these things that I am saying to you now. I don’t understand why I can’t refute and make a strong rebuttal around your presence. I don’t understand why I am so weak around you.
But wait I do understand now and it’s because I really like you… you Faggot, you dickhead, you Richard Cranium.
I sound so fucking gay at the moment and it’s because I’ve sacrificed my pride.
One of my favourite concepts from an online writer’s forum. The site is like a fan fiction and the short-story is called “Private Members”. Yes, I’m reading again!
I'm back from dodging all those nasty ak47 bullets and shurikens that my assessments had produced. Luckily, I suffered no serious wounds apart from being overwhelmingly stressed out. But the pain is all healed and passed now.
... Anyway, i promised a special someone (my apologies for whom that special someone is. I accidentally forgot that special someone’s name, so in replacement with your special name, this is why I am titling you as the special someone … not that this special someone isn’t special in the first place, it’s just that I am emphasizing how special you are, thus the bold formatting of special in this entry. [Yes, I am using my bf’s sucking up skills that I learnt or maybe I’m just a natural suck up)]. [Wait, I figured. I think this ‘special someone’ was Evan. Okay he is definitely not special].
… As per usual, I am completely ranting and became most absolutely distracted. Going back on track, I promised this special someone to give a massive photo post of some sort. But I haven’t had the chance to do so because my new USB went GG… Speaking of GG. Last week was a horrible week for me, not only did I have about 2/3 assessments due, I lost or broke like $280 worth of stuff.
* My stupid 2 months old iTouch went for a dive in the toilet bowl once again. (FFS)
* Some alien decided to abduct my 1 week old 8GB USB
* And my favourite pair of purple (PURPLE GUYS) BONDS undies went for a little adventure of its own at uni after a swim.
Horrible week it was. My muscles also started to ache like insane resulting to me having to postpone indoor rock-climbing on Friday. I was so anticipated to kicking Minh’s ass, despite him being much fitter and active than I am. Haha. But I do try guys. I do try. Oh well, there’s still this Friday. Game on.
Anywho, I’ve got two more assessments left this week. It’s so pointless and evil. I don’t understand why UMACQ have to be an annoying brat and chuck in two media assessment during the last week of uni for the year (YESS! ONE YEAR DOWN). But luckily, they’re easy to do.
Anyway, I’ve been hitting the gym and pools. I am determined to revive my once Victoria Secret’s frame that I had before and yes, I am also quite delusional. But the point is, I am planning to abort my 6 months old baby and put it down for good. My stomach is just horrendous. Erghs. Some toning up would be awesome this spring/ summer.
In other news, my dad has recently won a Sony BRAVIA 46” Plasma screen. So suck that, especially Annie and Bell who have been dissing my old TV. NEH NEH, we got the TV for free while you stooges had to pay for it. It’s not my fault that my chunky, flat screen, silver, ugly outdated tv is small and that we couldn’t watch the NRL finals around June/July this year.
Anyway, I feel that I have to make a little rant. During my absence of three weeks, I’ve learnt a lot on life and in particular, about relationships. I heard many stories that my friends had told me and also because of the book that I’m currently reading I just want to give my insights and opinions on what particular concept that the book has told.
So the context of the book that I commented above begins with a character confessing her almost expired relationship and that the partner is only extending the relationship’s life and time frame because the individual is about to have an exam. So being the ‘considerate’ partner that he/she is. The partner doesn’t want to fuck up the individual’s marks even more because of the imminent breakup. Thus, the character also stresses the lack of love that they receive from their partner because the partner had been hurt before.
Firstly, I am utmost compassionate for the protagonist of the book and those people who has to suffer their bf/gf ex’s shit. In other words, I hate it how when you are in a relationship, you would have to suffer the consequences of your partner’s ex.
Don’t you just resent it when the ex has caused so much pain to your current boyfriend/girlfriend that it has resulted to you not receiving the best treatment that your partner can give to you? Simply because the ex has hurt him/her so much that your partner is limiting how much love that he/she could express towards you. And the reason for his/her restriction is because they are afraid to get hurt again.
Is that really fair? What happened to trust? What happened to the simple logic that once you are in a relationship you should be prepared to get hurt. Wouldn’t it better to give it your best shot and make your partner content for as long as you can because isn’t that what a relationship is about? Making each other happy? Isn’t that the ultimate goal in a relationship?
What is the point in going in a relationship when you can’t give out all the love/affection? Yes, I understand that you don’t want to give it your all because you got hurt. But isn’t that plain selfish? The other person in the relationship is doing his/her best by showering you with all her/his ‘love’ that he/she could offer and this is what he/she receives … your ex’s consequences. It already sucks that he/she can’t receive all your love, but dealing with something that your ex has done to you. This just shows, that the ex still has somewhat control of you and you are being constantly being reminded of him/her and now that your girlfriend/boyfriend has to deal with her/his mental presence, the baggage is just too heavy.
You’ve basically changed your identity because of him/her. You've changed into something worse and not for the better… 95% of the time the relationship is going to cease unless you plan to wed your current sweetheart. But you rather give it your best shot, bombard her with all your love, attention, care, affection that you can before your relationship ends. Don’t change yourself because of another person.
RARARA PINS AND NEEDLES! I’ll be back soon :D.
